I am not lonely, I am just alone.

Hao ba, I am finally a little bit guilty for leaving my blog dead for such a long time. And to be honest there are quite a number of drafts in my account that I was in the half way and never finish it. Wonder why? because inspiration got in a fight with me and they just won't compromise. wtf Now I am randomly blogging about anything. Example? People around me.

Surprisingly, the people around me had changed so much in this 2 years.I have to clear that I don't mean their personalities had changed, but I am surrounded by different people in these years.I would not say it is bad thing, but I can't say it is positive.

I din't realize how much friend I had changed until I was lying on my couch and thinking about the friend that I had lost the other day. Then I realize nothing much have left from the past, and I can't even remember how much friend did I lost. I tried to count, but it just too much. I could not remember them. It was not because they are not worth to remember, but I am just not good in memorizing bad experience or things I don't like( such as chemistry if you need an example) .

I questioned myself, why do the people around me are keep changing? Is it because I need new friend for my new personality? Or simply because human's relationship is too fragile. Like recently, I lost a friend, just because he is getting along with my haters. It was not that hard to found out why, it is obvious. The friendship did not have an official endings but it does not needs one. Sometimes, in our life, we don't need a full stop to know that it is the end for the sentence, and it is the same that we don't need an real ending to tell that our friendship, or worse which is a relationship, can't go any further. Maybe we din't realize that, but when we are in trouble, we know who is our true friend, or we are just all alone.

So now I can feel the distance between me and everyone included those old friends that I cherished very much. I am not sure if it is me keeping myself away from everyone or it is just no one come close to me anymore.

It is okay, I am alone, but that is what make me tough.
When you have no one to help you, you will have to help yourself. We ( or it is just me) always expect someone to help, or at least we hope. It is a very bad habit and it won't bring us any nearer to success. When we are finally helpless, we will have to push ourselves to cross the safe zone. This is what we all know, but sometimes we never did it until we are force to. ( wtf I have to be forced to be good. 没有上进心.)

"It is okay to be alone, just don't let yourself feel lonely.
Don't beg for help, if someone can do it for you, you can do it for yourself."


You are just better than you thought.
Or you are just not alone.

Erm, one last thing. since SPM is just around the corner, 

I might not have time for blog. 

Blog might be dead or I will just stick with some very short and light post. 

Just don't forget me. :P