Why am I drowning again. I have no idea. I doubt if I ever walked away from the darkness. It has been so long. I don't even see why am I drowning anymore. I can't' tell why. I have no idea why am I feeling sad but sometimes I am just so sad that I wanted to cry.
But my ego does not let me. I know I can cry when there is no one, but if I cried, I would laugh at myself too. I am so used to being judge that I start judging myself too. Keeping everything to myself. Until I have nightmare even it is a 30mins nap. Woke up feeling scared and cried. Finally a reason to cry.
I just feel so tired. Mentally. I am being controlled by emotion.
Do you understanding how bad could it be. When you are alone. feeling anxious. Seeking for something that you don't even know what is it. There is no noise but all you feel is just noisy and messing.
I need help too.
