the wedding diary.

I got nothing to do at this time. So I am here to blog. #WTF #lifeless

I went to a movie session with #addiction and loon today.What can I say; my movie plan was so failed. I thought I am going to walk into the cinema like a boss to watch Mr. and Mrs. Gambler.And everything goes (or spoils) like this:

Me: Mr. and Mrs. Gambler.

The girl at the counter: how old are u?

Me: err, (look at #addiction with the ‘sei jor’ face)

Addiction: 18

The girl: ID pls. (me standing there still showing the ‘ sei jor’ face)

That is the end. We did not manage to watch the movie. The mafan loon took a long time to decide which movie to watch, so we just stand there asking him like non-stop. After a long time, he finally decided to watch ‘the wedding diary’.

We go into the cinema and watch countless advertisement and trailer AS USUAL. The cinema was so empty, because the movie was long time ago. The movie is so ‘expected’. I can know what will happen next even though I did not hear that synopsis before. Well there are a lot of funny parts too. But I can only remember about the fake money part and forgot the whole story. (Failed.)

I realized movies produced by sg or msia often emphasizing the moral values. Since forever. The movie today was a little over because I seriously do not think the hero’s father will get into an accident in that way.

SERIOUSLY, WHO THE HELL WILL SUDDENLY DRIVE HIS OR HER CAR SO CLOSE TO ANOTHER CAR STOPPED BY THE ROAD? AND I THOUGHT THERE IS A SIGN YOU NEED TO PUT BEHIND YOUR CAR WHEN YOU STOP TO CHECK OR REPAIRING YOUR CAR?

But if the man did not get into an accident, hero and heroine will not reconcile, heroine's parents too. And etc.Maybe it must be like this.

Went to domino for lunch, sis called and asked me a question:

You still not enough having domino at home? Come here eat domino also?

*Die*, I am not addicted to domino. I did not eat domino that often. I like it because it is simple, just a few click and the food is coming to me by itself. and it is delicious. #WTF #lazy By the way, ordered domino last Sunday and he is late for 1 min and we still get a free pizza. #LikeABoss

After our lunch, we went to mph like we read. #WTF Saw some interesting book but the prize is much more interesting than the book. #WTF that is why I do not read, books are always expansive. Do not blame me, blame the books, blame the price. #WTF but anyways, loon bought a book. (we did not go in for free.)

And then the moment come again. Train time. I seriously hate to take train to mid valley or kl or any famous place, because every time the train will be full, crowded. People are pushing like we are not human. Every time I come out from a train I feel like I just ended a war. World war. Government, improve your public transport please. Hahaha

Okay, I just changed to digi few weeks ago and the line is driving me crazy when it takes a long time for addiction to receive my message. I always respect digi for their effort in advertising because it is always cute or awesome. But seriously digi, WHY YOU NO SPEND MORE IN IMPROVING YOUR SERVICE?! And about the 0.facebook, it eat my credit. #FUUUUU

happy day with addiction. feel like we are closer than before. :)

dream is not coming true.

I am here to update because I just change my background. #WTF Went a little purplish this time (Okay maybe not a little). #addiction use purple to describe me, that is why I chose purple. (He actually answered me pink at first because I am a girl, I was #areyoufuckingkiddingme because pink is so not special.#WTF) Chose brown for the words because I found brown is the most special answer I got. I actually felt so man when my friend used brown to describe me. #WTF I should be more girly from nao, or everyone gonna say ‘wassup bro!’ to me next time.

I found my previous ‘master piece’ today. Looking at them make me feel so damn sad. #WTF

I know I have to be honest this time. For the first time, or the last time.

Whenever my family asked me what I like, I never answer them. I could not tell them how much I love interior design. Mom dislike design (or anything related to art) since forever. #WTF This is why, I never fight for it. I know how much I love art, but sacrifice family just for a dream is way too much for me. I love interior design, but I love my family more. Do not ask me why I like interior design, I am just attracted to it. When I was young, I used to collect those catalogs with floor plan on it. I spent my time looking at it, trying to figure out the whole thing. This is how I started it.

I did countless (because I did not count)floor plan, did not keep them all. Last year, I did a model house with awesome interior design (because we did all the furniture on our own. #WTF). Stay up late to complete the house, gotta finish my home works, my other works and etc. I was really exhausted, but when I saw the house is finally completed, I could not sleep even though I was really tired. (It feel likes you just born u child #WTF) From drawing floor plan, trying to design something special, try to find a special theme, deciding the colors, making those mini size furniture, sewing things at night, painting, tried hundred thousand millions times just to get a satisfying effect, measuring all those material, you will never know how much it takes until you do it yourself. (thinking about it makes me want to cry because I think the house has been destroy by our school’s student aka monkey.)

actually there are lots more photos but this is the only one can see more things.not everything.

It is not just about the house, the effort I paid, but also how much I want to prove to my mom, I really love interior design. Today, I look back on all those previous floor plan(which I think it is really nice), I know I still want it, but all that is just a dream. Just like guitar and cheerleading, I love them, and I love interior design even more.

But dreams are dreams, they are meant to disappear when I am awaked. Nao, I am awaked, and it is time to give up my dream.

As 'someone' said, 没有能力就别学别人说什么梦想. If you do not have the ability, do not waste your time thinking about your dream. I know I am not creative enough to be a designer. But it just break my heart when I found out I am not good in anything. I can do maths, but I am not good enough. I can write but I am not good enough. I am not good enough in everything.

So, tell me, what can I do? Do not tell me choose what I like. Reality is not that easy, choosing what I like is not making money for me.