Childhood.

People often say their childhood is their best memories. They missed the time without worries, running at the field, talking to friend. Well, the statement is not legal in my life. Somehow my childhood is quite pathetic to think about.

I am going blog the Top 5 Saddest incident in my childhood.

No5. I used to be very forgetful.
Hard to believe but there were a few month during my standard 3, I forgot to bring my homework to school everyday. I done all of them but I just put in on table, never put it inside my bag. I could not count how many times I got rotan-ed by teacher for that stupid reason. I was probably being 鬼遮眼 during that few month. It is hard to believe someone can be so forgetful.

No4. I once sicked for half year.
Another stupid thing happened in my life. I was sicked for at least 3days(means some time it is even more than 3days) and the fever just came back every week. I rarely went to school that I din't even have chance to pay my school fees once. So you can imagine how often I was absent from school. Wonder how I healed? Typical Chinese way, my mother brought me to a temple. The explanation for my sickness was not scientific at all, I was scared by one really fierce teacher. Well...There is still no scientific explanation for it now. But who cares, I rarely sick now. ^.^

No3. I was once very dumb.
My performance in school was usually average only until I was standard 4. HAHAHA I don't even think I ever studied in the first 3 years in primary school because I have no memories of myself studied for exam. And I don't even remember myself having exam during standard 1. The last exam in standard 3 was the turning point in my life(not sure if it is a good change). I scored unbelievable good grades and accidentally became the top 10 student. Damn yah, I am pretty sure my friend and teacher suspected me cheating in exam. hahaha. And I think I gained some haters because I improved even more and maintained it after that. This pretty much explain the following sad incident in my childhood.

No2. Being involved in drama that I don't even know it existed.
I was happily running around the school ( yes I ran in school. Damn stupid but I think I quit that after one or two years). And suddenly my friend came and tell me XXX hate me(using XXX because wanted no offense to anyone and I actually forgot who is that.). I was only standard 1. Hell yah, I din't know girl are really so dramatic that they can make drama at any age and out of anyone. Then I was being very down because I think I trusted the girl that she said she hate me.

And now Tadaaaaah............ ( playing drum)

No1. Being ignored and hated.
The most pathetic incident in my childhood is that I was always being hated by someone. The worst case that ever happened is there was one time, one of the girl in our class were throwing a birthday party. She invited the whole class but me. I think my close friend also not invited, did they get invited? Wait, who is my close friend at that time? Of course I would be upset at that time and what was worse. They said I cared about my reputation so much that I was upset for not invited to a party. Damn yah, they really hate me alot. Not to forgot to mention, there are always someone trying to say bad things about me too. Some even tricked me to say bad things about other, well I think I did a neutral comment about that person and it turned out to be a huge drama which involved the teacher. I was being blamed when it was not my fault also and no one trusted me.

So my childhood are mostly abut the backstabbing friend, hosting the dramas which I don't even know how it came out, being hated, being ignored, worried about grades and a lot other negative things. Even I did well in something, there will also someone saying all I got is just luck, I am not that good to qualify for any thing. And I am still being judged by others until now and still there are tons of people doubt about my ability.

But come on, you think my 12 years of dramas and being judged is a waste ah? I have super strong immunity towards drama now. Words can't bring me down.

几件事.习惯.

似有似无的惯例.我好像每写了一两个英文post 就会写华文.这又是个筹集了几件事,一些感想的post. 我没想好大纲,反正人生有太多即兴的事.

1. 白发.
今天看见一位女士,头发直而柔顺,可是因为上了年纪所以柔顺的头发中参杂了些白发.真感概.何必急着染上五颜六色的头发,你沉闷的黑发再过二三十年也依然会被白发淘汰.要走的事物你留不住.

2.目标.
忽然觉得自己的理想太抽象.世上真的没那么多富翁,也没那么多公主.也许理想是抽象的,目标是明确的.我是时候踏踏实实设下目标,无怨无悔为实现目标努力.

3.幸福.
最近幸福变得有限.对未来的幸福似乎抱了太多憧憬.和喜欢的人住在豪宅里也许不是幸福而是奢华.和相爱的人一起乘着火车走片天涯海角也许不是平凡而是幸福.

4.小说
2012年最后一个晚上(没错,我记得很清楚因为那晚和重要的人过.我对那人重不重要不重要,我知道他对我有多重要就好.反正这世界就是他妈的没有公平.没有人会用你对待他的方式对待你.)我买了4本小说.刚开始的时候一口气读了两本,可是后来发生了一堆我没读小说的心情的事.然后,这两天终于读了第三本.读完了.第四本的内容.... 我还在说服自己去读的过程中.

5.穷.
就说我读小说.小说主角背景好气势,总经理(而且还是帅气的总经理).然后帅气的总经理却老是被女主角们说穷得只剩下钱.也许富有真的不是用金钱衡量,用金钱衡量到最后也许真的会穷得只有钱.不过最近我好像要穷得连钱都没有.

6.回忆.
我那天很无聊所以翻开了以前(其实是一年前)的status.结果对于自己写过类似脑残还是我可以直接说没脑的事感到很迷惑.我是他妈的脑袋在想什么.然后对于评论的人就更迷茫.虽然明确记得是个曾经熟悉的人(至少我没对这名字发呆这是他妈的哪位,前阵子就发生了这种事),可是原来是那种夸张的熟悉.

7.催眠.
不知道是催眠成功还是我是发自内心.我还真对建筑材料有了好奇心.所以,人会做他们相信的事.

8.损友.
其实损不损不是重点,可是有个还不错的朋友真的很不错.如果你是个骂脏话的人,就找个那样的人.找个不评论你的生活但提醒你的人生的朋友.

9.邋塌.
我发现我其实真有点邋塌.书桌这方面.要解释有点烦.但书桌上的东西完全超过书桌上该有的东西.还有其实我总是喜欢逃避正经的事.虽然我的生活很一塌糊涂,可是我觉得我的人生还算井然有序(不要怀疑,我不会这个成语.感谢google 大师). 或许我只是要找个人来打点我这邋塌糊涂的生活,钟点女佣太中用.

10.习惯.
习惯这事很恐怖,尤其是习惯一个人.习惯总是在不知不觉下培养.习惯也在你不知不觉下改变,人也不声不响下离开.一个人有多习惯就看失去后他有多不舍.没办法用言语或行动表达有多习惯.可是我们可以用言语和眼泪来表达我们多不舍.

11.忘记.
人想要忘记什么之前,其实就已经想起什么.忘记也许就不能刻意.

12.思念.你他妈的放心,我适应能力很强.总有天会习以为常.

Maldives. -曾经想要一起走的路我还不想一个人走.-